Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures...

Francine Keyes, 11, went missing on June 12th in Big Bend National park. Her parents provided the law enforcement agents with a picture of her.

"At first I thought the kidnapper had dyed her hair, you know, to make her less easy to recognize," said Maria Baker, one of the volunteers who spent 50 hours last week searching. "Then I thought, wow, that week in the wilderness sure was rough on her. Then I saw a closeup, and I thought, man, did a bear get her too?"
It turns out that Francine's family had doctored the photo released to police and the media in order to make her "more appealing" and spur a wider rescue effort. In the picture, she is a perky, cute blonde girl somewhat resembling Lindsay Lohan.
"In actuality, Francine is neither perky nor blonde," said a grim-faced Perry. "In fact, her picture is mainly a testament to her father's skills with Photoshop."

.....

"For crying out loud. The girl's got a gap between her front teeth big enough to drive a car through."

Meet Annika, The Tim Duncan Of Golf....

Why is it that Anikka Sorenstam can't get any respect? Why is she so overlooked and passed over by journalists and sportswriters?

At the start of this season, she announced she was going to try to win the Grand Slam of women's golf. Not just one tournament, but the 4 major tournaments. Rasheed Wallace guarantees a victory in game 3 of an opening round game and his comments get plastered on the back page of every sportspage. Annika....nothing.

But check these stats out:

She's won the first two legs of the grand slam and is currently near the lead in the third one being played now.

She's entered 8 tournaments this year and won 6.

She's 8 of her last 10.

Out of her 236 career tournaments, she's come in 1st or 2nd in 101.

Most guys would rather watch beer commercials than watch Annika play golf. She's
like Tim Duncan, who just won his third NBA Finals MVP – she's subtly great.
Subtle doesn't sell.

Allan Houston, There's The Door.....

Related to a previous post, it looks like Allan Houston's days in NY are numbered. Buying out or releasing Allan Houston has never been a real option for the Knicks, since they'd still be on the hook for paying his salary, which would've counted against the salary cap. And since they're far above the salary cap ($103 million payroll - $43 million cap) they have to pay a dollar-for-dollar tax penalty.

However.....

For this summer only, each franchise will be allowed to waive one player without paying the luxury tax on his salary. The provision, first reported by ESPN.com, was confirmed by a league spokesman yesterday.
A team that takes advantage of this feature would still have to pay the player's remaining salary (or a portion of it, if a buyout agreement is reached), and the salary would still count against the team's salary cap.
But the benefits are clear. Houston, a 34-year-old guard, played only 20 games this season because of knee problems and is owed $39.8 million over the next two seasons. Under the dollar-for-dollar luxury tax, the Knicks would have to pay an equal amount to the league. Thus, waiving Houston would save the franchise $39.8 million.

Talk about your no-brainers! So long Allan.....

1, 2, 3, 4.....1,308,459 Pennies...

Edmond Knowles today broke the world's record of the largest-ever single
cash-in of pennies, totaling 1,308,459 pennies (or $13,084.59). The cash-in took
place at the Flomaton, Ala., Escambia County Bank's Coinstar machine.

The pennies, which Knowles stored in four 55-gallon and three 20-gallon oil barrels in his garage, weighed more than 4.5 tons.

Coinstar machines count up to 600 coins per minute, saving consumers the time and effort of sorting and rolling their accumulated coins.

A couple of questions come to mind:

How did he bring 4.5 tons of pennies from his garage to the coinstar machine?

Even if he fed the machine continuously, 1,308,459 coins at 600 coins/minutes is 36 hours and 20 minutes.

Did he stand at the machine for 36 hours straight?

If he took a break overnight while the store was closed, is it still considered one transaction? Even though it probably took 3 days to complete?

Crocodile Dundee Has Got Nothing On This Guy....

NAIROBI (Reuters) - A 73-year-old Kenyan grandfather reached into the mouth
of an attacking leopard and tore out its tongue to kill it, authorities said
Wednesday.

Peasant farmer Daniel M'Mburugu was tending to his potato and
bean crops in a rural area near Mount Kenya when the leopard charged out of the
long grass and leapt on him.

M'Mburugu had a machete in one hand but
dropped that to thrust his fist down the leopard's mouth. He gradually managed
to pull out the animal's tongue, leaving it in its death-throes.
"It let out
a blood-curdling snarl that made the birds stop chirping," he told the daily
Standard newspaper of how the leopard came at him and knocked him over.

The leopard sank its teeth into the farmer's wrist and mauled him with
its claws. "A voice, which must have come from God, whispered to me to drop the
panga (machete) and thrust my hand in its wide open mouth. I obeyed," M'Mburugu
said.

As the leopard was dying, a neighbor heard the screams and arrived
to finish it off with a machete.

M'Mburugu was toasted as a hero in his
village Kihato after the incident earlier this month. He was also given free
hospital treatment by astonished local authorities.

"This guy is very
lucky to be alive," Kenya Wildlife Service official Connie Maina told Reuters,
confirming details of the incident.

Funny Story...

I think only one or two will find this amusing (mostly Joe), but I'll share this little story anyway.

Last night, I took my two youngest up stairs to get them ready for bed. I put them on our bed and changed Alexis' diaper. I then took her and laid her down in her bed and got Thomas a clean diaper to change him into. All the while, Thomas was upset that I left him in the room. I got back into our room where he was and changed his diaper and took off his dirty clothes. I threw the dirty clothes in the dirty clothes pile and picked up the two dirty diapers and left to go throw them out in the bathroom. Thomas finally got really upset at me for leaving him in the room again (keep in mind, it's a small house - I was never far away) so he yelled "UNCLE MATT! COME HERE!"

Great Quote....

"the Knicks probably wish they could trade Allan Houston for a Happy Meal right now to dump his contract"

-Max Steel June 21, 2005 08:59am

Truer words have never been spoken.

Customization

Nike has opened up a Nike iD store in Manhattan solely for the purpose of creating your own customized sneaker. It's a very elite store and can only get in with an invitation (read: celebrities only). They have a website for the rest of the people. It's a pretty cool idea and the prices are no more expensive than buying a regular sneaker from Foot Locker. There are 34 different types of shoes available for customization. I think the real market for those shoes are for schools. Instead of buying the readily available red, blue, white, or black sneakers, they can get ones that really match their school colors.

Customizable shirts, hats, etc. have been available for a long time. I guess it was just a matter of time before someone figured out how to make sneaker custumization a feasible option.

Another pretty cool customization offer is from M & M's. You can pick your own colors and a two line message on one side.

Nipped....

Mike Tyson retired this past weekend after getting beaten by Kevin McBride. He will be missed, but not for his boxing prowess or skills. For the excitement he brings to every fight. There's no telling what he'll do.

"Tyson is crazy. He bit my nipple," McBride told the British newspaper The Sun.
"I didn't realize it at first but he had his teeth around it. I just felt a
strange sensation and then realized what he'd done. He could not get up high
enough to bite my ears – good job he wasn't a midget, otherwise he would have
bitten something else."

I guess Tyson realized he didn't have a taste for the sport any longer......

Like A Fine Wine....

This post is mainly for my buddy Max who is a huge Spurs and Tim Duncan fan.

From Chris Ballard's Inside the NBA column at SI.com :

Of course, this is exactly why many basketball aficionados love Duncan. He functions as a filter of sorts; if you are a true fan, you will appreciate the soundness of his game and find the beauty in his bank shot, his drop step, the way he rarely leaves his feet on defense. He is the anti-Vinsanity. New Jersey's Vince Carter is a player whose attributes are so wildly obvious, and acrobatic, that his myriad deficiencies are harder to spot to the novice fan. More than that, a player such as Vince -- a perennial vote-leader in the All-Star balloting -- is good at the things that are easiest for a casual fan to spot: dunking, making crazy shots and, well, jumping really high. If Carter is the wine cooler of the league, all sweetness and bubbles, palatable to even a 16-year-old, then Duncan is the aged Cabernet. You may not appreciate him at first, but, once your taste is refined, you understand what you were missing.

My Little Cowgirl....

File This Under: "Stupid Parents"....

Conversation between an officer and a driver:

Driver: "Did I do something wrong?"
Officer: "Yes, you did."
Driver: "I don't think so."
Officser: "What about the three children you have in the trunk of the car?"

Her response to the officer's question as to why the children were in the trunk: "The wanted to ride back there."

There was a 3 year old girl and an 8 and 9 year old boy in the trunk. There was nothing in the backseat to prevent the children from sitting there.

It's a Female Thing....

I'm not complaining, just curious.

Why is it that almost all the females I know call me "Matthew" and all the guys I know call me either "Matt" or "Daffy"? If I've ever been introduced to someone, it's always: "This is Matt." or "This is Matt, but we call him 'Daffy'."