Kids....
...are a lot smarter than we (adults) give them credit for, but are still very naive. They can be little adults one minute and little kids the next. A few notes from this past weekend:
Nicky (5.5 years old) asked me why I don't go to church every Sunday with Jennie. I told him because I just don't. He then told me that I would be going down there - to hell.
Alexis learned a new trick and has been trying it out the past few days. If she does something bad, like make a mess by throwing a handful of crayons on the floor and when I tell her to stop it and to pick it up, she realizes she's in trouble. She then will walk over to me and tell me "I love you daddy" and try to hug me. It's extremely cute, but disturbing at the same time. I wonder where she learned this from. Her brothers never did anything like that.
Jennie's last remaining married sister is seperating from her husband. About a month ago she got her own place. This past Saturday we went to check out the new place with the kids. Our two nephews were not there and Nicky asked where they were. We told him that they were with their dad for the weekend. No problem there. Nicky's cousin Joey (who is 6 months older and goes to the same school as Nicky) has been on the same schedule since he's been born. His parents seperated while his mom was pregnant. The problem we had was answering his next line of questioning:
Nicky: "Why does Geralyn have her own house now?"
Us: "Because she and Jeff are seperated."
Nicky: "Why are they seperated?"
Us: "Because people get seperated sometimes."
Nicky: "When I get big, I'm not going to get seperated."
Nicky asked again later on if it was because they don't love each other.
Yes. I realize we skirted around the issue and gave him that answer, but how do you explain divorce to a 5 year old? Is there a right answer to give him?
3 Comments:
I think you can safely use the "sometimes people fall out of love" line to help the kids understand divorce. But you're going to want to follow that up with some strong reassurance that the same thing isn't going to happen to his parents, but that even if it did (which I'm sure it won't), that you'd continue to love him and his siblings just as much as you do now, etc.
Good luck with that one. Chalk another one up to not having kids!
Tell him it's because Joey threw crayons on the floor!
Ho yeah.
Dan-
Yeah, it's tough to figure out what exactly to tell Nicky. He's old enough to be able to handle certain types of answers and info, but still too young for others. It would be great to hit the fast forward button and talk to him when he's a teenager. I should be careful what I wish for. Teenagers are a whole different set of problems!
Joe-
Why can't you ever comment seriously? Joey's parents were seperated when he was still in the womb. Last I checked, crayolas or any other kind of coloring utensils came out along with the babies.
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